"Come home quick. Your grandpa is not in good condition.""He's in icu. He cannot recognise anybody. Very dangerous. The doctors are considering letting him go if possible.."I almost got a heart attack when I received the messages halfway through econs lecture. Rushed home straight after lunch and found dad sitting in the living room. Alarms bells started ringing in my head. If dad is actually in Hougang, that means something is wrong. Seriously wrong. Uncle drove us to the hospital right after a quick dinner. And I was totally not prepared for the sight in front of me. Grandpa was clinging on to his life with only an oxygen mask and his chest was rising and falling in a weird way. I called him and the only sign that he actually heard was a slight movement of his left eye which was slightly open. I just cried. He looked so fragile! I almost longed to hear him calling me to go to bed when I was still online after midnight, hear him chiding his grandchildren for disturbing his nap. I overheard my aunt and uncle saying that he actually had a stroke in the brain. That's why he couldn't respond. And it was only then that i realised "letting him go" is actually to take away the oxygen mask, not let him go home. Who will actually be hard-hearted enough to remove the mask? But it's awfully painful to see him struggle to breath like that.
I feel as though I am at the bottom of a deep valley. Everytime I try to climb out, more rocks will fall and trap me. And these rocks never seem to stop falling.
