This weekend is one hectic one. Went to Jiawen's church for easter service on friday, and Yiling and Nat's one for another service. Grading was today. Don't know how I did though. Everything was finished so fast after watching the little kids go through the grading. I feel like a gaint standing beside them. Then the rest of the day was spent trying to get my tutorials done.
Sometimes I wonder if it is worth it to strive so hard that I don't even have time to rest. Then I will fall sick and lose all those precious time when I could get a lot of things done. I would be lying through my teeth if I say that school life is not hectic at all because it definitely is. I think my schedule is almost like in secondary school, except that I could actually understand what the teachers are talking about even when I fell asleep. Here, I just get stuck doing tutorials. It gets really taxing during the weeks when I have tests and loads of events and whatsoever clumped together, like last week. Every break and free time was used to catch up on work. I sorta envy those who made the choice to go to poly. At least you know what you want to do in life and you can work towards that. Like this primary school friend that I just talked to, who wants to retake Os as a private candidate to get into the course of her choice next year. So now her life is work, tuition and revision. After being brainwashed by countless people who insist that working life is horrendous, I still kinda admire her. For having the guts to choose a different pathway. JC life's tough, and I am not even sure the subjects I am studying now are even relevant in the future, when I finally decide what I want to do. In a way, I am kinda working blindly for the future. That feeling sucks. Here I am, working myself out for academics, ccas and social events in a JC because I have no idea what to do in the future. And people I had grew up with in the past are already way ahead, aiming straight for their goals. And the thing is, Os has just ended and we are doing tys for As, which I am quite nervous about although its too early. I see people rolling their eyes when they read this. But to me, being a 6 pointer doesn't help you ace your As at all. In fact, my 6 points were lucky. Way too lucky. Just take a look at my sec 4 results and you will understand why. I really wonder what would have happened if I had gone with my family's wishes to enrol in a poly. I bet I will suffer. The aimless wanderer amidst a crowd of students who are confident of their future.
Blearh. Just being reflective. O.o
