Thanks to absolute boredom and the want to procrastinate, my mind started drifting and I found myself thinking about a lot of things that I didn't have time to seriously consider, or rather, didn't want to think about.
Sometimes some people would ask me if I regretted coming to VJ and I would answer
no confidently. But I do wonder what life would be like if I hadn't come to VJ. I can't say that life is VJ is plainly smoothsailing, although I very much wished it was. I have already lost count of the number of people telling me that I am crazy for taking up so many ccas but I will persist in
all of them. I am not going to say the politically correct stuff that Kaili would say, about believing in developing my potential and striving for greater heights crap. The truth is, I work better when I am busy. Undoubtedly, there is less time for socialising and leisure but well, sacrifices have to be made. It only feels like yesterday when I walked into the band room in VJ for tune-in, and now it's a few weeks to promos. If only a miracle would happen, I would wish for a fresh start. Mrs Tian once said that a person's social circle diminshes when one grows up. I have only begin to truly realise what she really meant. I have done a lot of things I wished I hadn't done, hurting other people and making them cry. I never really had the chance(or the guts) to express my apology, and I think the time would never come. This would be my regret perhaps for the rest of my life. Then come this new year when the environment changes, going into a new life where you have to look out for yourself. I always thought I could rely on my friends, until this close friend turned on me and left me alone to struggle and overcome the unfamilarity of everything. Karma? It does looks like it. She had made me shed tears for days. I thought I meant a lot more to her. Apparently not. Being backstabbed really hurts. I want to believe that I have changed for the better. Hopefully so.
Okay. I am NOT being emo. Just needed to get all these out before I suffocate.
