It's really during times of stress and turmoil do you get to see the friends who are willing to go the extra mile for you.
Seems like a not-so-great lunar new year this time round.
Been feeling so suffocated with so much work, yet I have to put on a strong front every single day, on my attempts to not let stress overcome me, holding on to the belief that Im a lot stronger than I thought I could be. Everyday I woke up feeling sleep deprived, yet I force myself to carry on with lectures, tutorials, even though I will end up falling asleep somehow. And at the end of each day, I would wonder, why am I pushing myself so hard? And then it all boils down to this self fulfilling prophecy. Like, I made this mess, I have to hang in there and push on. And to do the best I can. Or I will be letting myself down. But there are times, when the effort you put in doesn't seem that much worthwhile, no one is going to appreciate it if I fall sick while rushing here and there, and I really just wanna dump everything and throw my covers over my head. It doesn't help that people think you are being irresponsible and complacent, even though you know that they are just being judgmental and you're not really like that. Everybody has their own share of problems and difficulties, friends can be understanding to a certain extent, but ultimately, everything boils down to self interest as the top priority and friends have to be compromised.
Jaded.
